Letting out a virtual sigh to control my eager to be like these young, super-star ninja guru front-end developers who seem to have 28 productive hours in a day and still have time left to geek-out with their favorite pass-time and hang out with their hipster friends sipping on there Club Mate soda drinks and publish books and give talks at the coolest conferences. Here I am trying to keep up with the tsunami of Internet posts related to whatever I find interesting or funny, yet here I am with the daunting realization that the big 40 is only five years away...

I need to release steam I guess. Steam that has been building up since a couple of months now. Of course I go running and take long walks, but every time I do, I seem to be more and more distracted by the fact that I feel like I haven't achieved anything much yet. Looking for a sense of purpose is common these days I assume. I do have a lot of nice elements going for me currently. Yet, I always feel bad when I shut-off from "getting things done" and just enjoy a good TV show or movie, or just surf the web. I do get inspired by great stories, good production, great actors, good writers and funny cat pictures sometimes, especially if I notice how much effort and love the people placed into their work and how their work is being shared across the globe. Of course, I probably only see this one side of it all. What you don't see is the blood, sweat and tears that went into achieving the quality of these productions. How many countless sleepless hours were spent finalizing and making tough decisions were lost in the months and years before a release of such a project. What I realize these people have more than me is this magical concept: FOCUS.

I had it easy. Do not get me wrong; I am constantly inspired and in awe; But I'm also, afraid. Afraid I lack this kind of focus and that I always get distracted by the latest shiny gadget or most recent funny YouTube video. I admit that I do watch a lot of V-Sauce and Stuff You Should Know and listen to TWIT and The Guardian's Tech Weekly and Science Weekly podcasts. Of course I also try to follow Chris Coyier's weekly ShopTalk show while listening to it on my daily commute. But still I feel I am just passively watching everything roll out in front of my eyes. I know I should build stuff. Try new things and fail, yet learn from my mistakes. But when exactly I am supposed to fit all of this in? Between breaks at work or when brushing my teeth? Or perhaps when I go jogging or go for a bike ride? Or during an episode of DareDevil or Game Of Thrones?

Just when? Perhaps I should have just focused instead of writing this ranty post? :smile: